he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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