I must be too annoying 4 u.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
