You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he was CRYING into my vagina
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
