burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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