what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
