hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Randomize
