it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
