how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
