don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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