Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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