I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Duck Duck Cougar?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Less talking, more tequila
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
This is classic penis vs brain.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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