Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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