At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You were trust falling into bushes
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
