Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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