my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
