so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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