dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
