So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I still have a little drunk in my system
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
