Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
