hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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