Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
