Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I think my fart just growled at me.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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