I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
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how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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