girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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