Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Im part way to drunk.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
