Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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