Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
