He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
