I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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