I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
