You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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