Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
she pinky promised me she was 18
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
