She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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