put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
be right there i have to get my cape
I am naked and annoyed.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
