I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
