Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
