The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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