I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
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Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
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you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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