I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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