I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
