Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
