did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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