my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize