and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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