And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
