I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
