I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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