I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
