member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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