I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
