I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
barbara walters just said penis...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
