haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
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Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
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Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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