i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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