is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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