how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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