Don't you send me to vm
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
