Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
